12-25-2022 Merry Christmas to all!

(Tricia)

Since Linda came home from the hospital in November, it has been much quieter than it was before she went in.  No more physical therapy, very few nursing visits. Hospice started up again two weeks ago, but Linda has turned down most services (such as the bath aide and chaplain). She has been telling us that she wants to rest, so we are giving her that. She does get up in her wheelchair almost every day, which at least gives her a change of scenery.

Last Tuesday, we did take Linda to a previously scheduled doctor's appointment with a neurologist specializing in cognitive issues such as brain injury and dementia, at a practice is called the St. Louis Center for Cognitive Health. I almost canceled the appointment, because I didn't think much would come of it. But this was an appointment I had rescheduled after canceling one in July the last time she was in hospice (and I had made that appointment in March--the joys of American healthcare). When I canceled the July appointment, they offered to reschedule, even though the next available was not, of course, until December. I thought there was no way we would be keeping that appointment, but I made it anyway. I didn't want to cancel again and then wish I hadn't four months from now. So, when the appointment came (time certainly flies!), we went. 

I was nervous about whether we could get her there and back without incident, given that the appointment was at 8:30 in the morning. (Linda has never been a morning person, and now she's even less so.) But we were able to get her up and to the doctor's fairly smoothly. The doctor and his assistant spent 45 minutes asking questions about her memory and fatigue levels, which I thought she answered pretty well, all things considered. Then, they took her into a different room for the formal evaluation. The evaluation was supposed to last an hour or more, but the young woman evaluating her came back out after just 30 minutes saying they "had gotten what they needed." I didn't take that as a good sign! I asked Linda how it went, and she replied, "She kept asking me questions, but I didn't know what she wanted me to do." Ah well. We're still waiting for the results of the evaluation--I hope to hear from his office next week. Even though I don't think he'll have much new to say, at least I'll know we tried.

She has some lucid moments, but her memory is still minimal. She still asks about Mother, something she had stopped doing just before going into the hospital. But although those moments can be heartbreaking, occasionally Linda can surprise me by saying something hilarious. Like last Thursday. For some background, know that Linda's favorite thing to watch on TV are British mystery series in which the lead characters are investigating at least one, and sometimes multiple, deaths in any particular episode. So, last Thursday, when the bad weather was coming through, I told the caregiver that she could go home early ahead of the weather. Once she left, Linda said, "She was horrible. She was making fun of me." I do trust the caregiver, but still I asked Linda what had happened. Linda replied, "She told me Mother had passed away!" And I said, "Linda, you know that's true, right? Mother is gone." And Linda said, "I know, but I can't believe it."  

Finally, I said, "Linda, why don't I put something on television to take your mind off things--what kind of show would make you feel better about Mother?"  Linda looks me straight in the eye and says, with emphasis, "MURDER!"  "So, 'murder' will make you feel better?" I asked.  "Yes!" she says. "Murder!"

I almost lost it. :-)  She can still make me laugh!  And, so, we put on a new British series called "The Madame Blanc Mysteries" streaming on BritBox. I stayed to watch a couple episodes, and I think I enjoyed the show as much as she did.

Over the last four months, we have gone from thinking we would not have another Christmas with Linda, to daring to hope that we would, to once again thinking we would not see it happen. But here we are! It was a quiet day, but it was so good to have this Christmas together. Ed went home to be with his family in Poplar Bluff, but Marilyn and I kicked things off by watching "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" while Linda was still sleeping. Then, after we had Christmas dinner, Marilyn, Linda, the caregiver, and I all watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas," and then a special on the Disney channel featuring Pentatonix, an a capella group that we all love. At one point, though, we actually talked about turning off the special to watch something else, only to have Linda turn to us and say, "No!" So, we know that Linda especially enjoyed it. :-)

While Ed was here yesterday, we took time out to take a family photo. After thinking that our Christmas in 2021 was the last one, this one was one to hold onto.

I hope everyone reading this had a wonderful holiday, and that you all have a joyous New Year!